I hate rejection, I really do. After nearly five decades on the planet, I can be truthful with everyone including myself about the crushing effect of being turned down. The news at the doctor’s office today was the kind of news that borders on rejection. I left the doctors office without another appointment booked. So yeah, this kind of rejection isn’t so bad, right? The trend suggests things are slowly improving, if nothing catastrophic happens.
I left the doctor’s office with mixed feelings today. At our first meeting, I was told I’d be back to 100% normal in two months. Today, the diagnosis has changed. I no longer think that things will ever be the same as they were pre injury. The answer to my direct question “does the herniation shrink away with time?” was “maybe a little . . .” This was definitely not what I understood from our earlier consultations. “The material has squeezed into the hollow of your spinal column where it had touched a nerve as we saw in the MRI. Its come away a little, and will come away a little more…” I really don’t know what to expect for a while. This is the most unnerving consideration of the injury.
My capacity for physiotherapy and activity continues to show steady improvement. Both Carmen and Dr. Burnett are supportive of working in the capacity of a welding instructor. I have begun to ski and gym climb moderately as well. The numbness and tingly feelings in my right leg are still regularly triggered with moderate strain.
In the future, the outcome will be clear. It’s the waiting that hurts. I can only trust that exercise and attention to maintaining proper biomechanics will keep me mobile and on track to as full a recovery as possible.